3 tips on how to save yourself from drowning in assholes.

Recently I’ve had multiple run-ins with some bonafide assholes.  I could blame it on Mercury being in retrograde or pitta-aggravation or something energetic like that, but in truth, I think the reason I’m head to head with all these jerks is that I AM ACTING LIKE A SH*THEAD.

Yep, it’s not you – it’s me.

So, with this awareness (the first step to making a change, as they say) I’m trying to see how I can modify my behavior into a more positive direction.

Here’s what’s working:

1: CHECK YOURSELF –  Review your intentions. Remind yourself to be conscious with your words and actions. Check in with yourself often and honestly ask yourself whether or not your actions are cultivating peace or bringing about more negativity.  Here’s an example – I just started to write a snide derisive comment on someone’s post on elephant journal.  But, before I clicked “Post”, I got up, walked over to the sink, got a glass of water and asked myself “Do I really want to get in a fight with this person? Is there a good reason for me to argue with this person? Does it even matter? Will I bring about more happiness by engaging in this mini-battle?” Realizing that the answer to all 4 of these questions was a resounding NO, I decided to delete the comment and WALK AWAY.  Negative karma tailspin averted!

2: DISTRACT YOURSELF MEANINGFULLY – Part of the reason I’ve been such a jerk recently is that I’ve been struggling with low self-esteem….feeling worthless, fat, boring, ugly, lazy, weak – you know, the typical list of all those nasty mean things I tell myself on bad days.  But sometimes, when I’m on my game, instead of wallowing in self-pity and ice cream, I’m able to remember that when this stuff comes up, one thing that really helps me is to get CREATIVE.  Writing in my journal, making collages, writing postcards, reading devotional poetry, making up new recipes/making a yummy mess in the kitchen, playing my ukulele and singing sweet happy songs – these have been the best tools for me recently.  After a little creative fun time, I’m smiling again and being a much nicer person!

3: RAISE YOUR VIBRATION: The negative mantras (all the “I can’t, I’m bad, I’m worthless, etc., etc.,) can get really overwhelming and suffocating, so one of the best things to do is to change your mantra!  Instead of letting the monkey mind chatter on with ugly, mean, negative stuff, consciously direct your mind to a mantra of higher vibration.  I chant on my beads the Mahamantra, or I start aligning SAT NAM with the sound of my breath.  Chanting helps you become more aware of your breath, slow it down and be more conscious and aware of yourself in the present moment.  The power of the sound vibration of the mantras themselves will elevate your vibration.  When you turn your attention to Love/God, it’s much harder to get pulled down into the muck of meanness and hurt.  Another great way to do this is to rock out to your favorite kirtan music! Flip on the ipod and fill the room with BHAKTI – I assure you – you and everyone else around you will feel much better!

What works for you when you’re stuck in the muck?

Bonus – one more great tool that always works: BE OF SERVICE – volunteer, teach yoga to a friend, help a stranger, do something kind to uplift another human being, be a good listener to someone in need, give of yourself selflessly and humbly, practice karma yoga!!!!


Love Frances


3 thoughts on “3 tips on how to save yourself from drowning in assholes.

  1. Pingback: How To Deal With The Inner Voices Of Self-Criticism | Lila

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