Manifesting LOVE.

Or….”How I went from dating a manipulative loser and pining over a disinterested sexy ski bum to marrying the most loving, intelligent, funny man alive.”

So last night I needed to give myself a little down time (still healing from this flu) so I decided to sit in bed, restring Thad’s tulsi beads that broke and listen to Gala Darling read aloud to me from her book “Love and Sequins”.

I listened to her chapter on “Manifesting Magic” and it really made me feel kind of warm and fuzzy inside.

Now I know that all the super duper positivity stuff can be a little annoying, trust me, because I can be a real cynic. I think that people who are totally obsessed/evangelical about The Secret are a little wacky. But that’s because it’s taken to an extreme.

Manifesting doesn’t mean just sitting on your couch saying “I want a million dollars, I want a million dollars!” and expecting it to fall on your lap, which by the way, doesn’t work. That is just wishful thinking and it will leave you sadly disappointed.

But you know what does work?

Clarifying your intentions.

For me, Dr. Emoto’s work demonstrating the effects of words on the molecular structure and physical appearance of water crystals says it all. Our intentions, thoughts and emotions directly effect our physiology and our psychology. Since our bodies are composed of so much water, it’s only logical that just as a single water molecule is transformed by the potent energy of a word like “Love”, so too are we.

Your life is a direct reflection of your thoughts.

Gala wrote something that I totally jive with. She says “Manifesting means meeting the universe halfway”. This means you have to do some work for the magic to happen! You need to clearly align yourself with the values and qualities that you desire.

The universe gives you exactly what you ask for, so be careful and conscious of what you ask for!

Like attracts like – this is the law of attraction.

So, why not use that to your advantage?

Ask wisely. Be aware about your feelings and thoughts. Be clear and direct. Write a list of positive affirmations and read them aloud every day. This might feel a little silly as first, but there’s no harm in trying!

Your life might not visibly change overnight, but there’s no way you will be the same sad victim of your negativity if you start consciously thinking and saying positive things. This doesn’t mean you will never be sad or struggling ever again (that’s a myth of the cult of positivity) because those challenging times are a part of the material condition and necessary for growth and transformation. But, even when you are suffering, you have tools to change your thoughts and change your world.

One of my favorite Yogi Bhajan quotes is ‘An attitude of gratitude brings opportunity.’ This is a good one to remember when you are feeling down about your life because who doesn’t want more exciting and beneficial opportunities?

Experiment – right now, think about something you really love or a really happy memory. Then notice what happens to your face and body.

Ok, so how does this relate to “finding love”?

Here’s a little story. In February of 2010, I broke up with (for the gazzillionth and final time) a guy I had been dating for 2 years who was kind of pathetic and a total druggy who was emotionally manipulative. I distracted myself from the tension of this by longing for this other guy who I had been friends with for years and had not-so-secretly been crushing on for just as long. I spent a week with him and it was all dreamy, but as soon as I was out of sight, I was totally out of mind for him. That made me feel tiny and sad. Basically I wasted a lot of psychic energy with these two.

An older woman friend of mine saw how diminished I was over my messy unfulfilling love life and so she gave me a little advice. She told me to sit down and meditate and then write a list of everything I wanted in a partner. After writing it, I needed to tuck it away somewhere safe and forget about it.

This sounded a bit odd, but I was feeling desperate so I gave it a go.

I knew I didn’t want to be in a relationship right then (even if the sexy ski bum came around, I knew in my heart of hearts that it would be no good). I knew I needed to focus on myself but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to put something out there for the future when I was in a more healthy and stable place.

I sat down, prayed for guidance and then wrote my list. I was specific but not in a superficial way. For example, I asked for someone with a deep spiritual practice and a conscious orientation towards health and healing, not a 6 foot 2 blonde hunk with a six-pack.

I thought about all the qualities that I would love to see embodied in a man. I wrote about his intelligence, compassion, gentleness, balanced emotions, his kind eyes, his love of nature, his strength, groundedness, equanimity, maturity, sobriety, sense of adventure, humor and joyfulness. I wrote about our shared passions, our chemistry and how we would engage in fun activities and travel together.

I wrote two full pages in my journal describing my “dream partner” and then at the end, because I’m a sassy-pants, I wrote, “OK Universe, show me what you got!!!”

I closed the pages of the book and kind of forgot about it. I was busy with school, meditating a lot, doing yoga, working though a lot of my personal “stuff”, the kind of stuff that comes to a head when you are living in an intensely spiritually qualified and high-pressure environment like the Crestone Healing Arts Center.

Three months later I found myself falling madly in love with one of my fellow students, much to surprise! I entered the relationship with great trepidation. I couldn’t really believe that he was my “match” because on a materialistic level, he was unlike the kind of guy I thought I would be attracted to.

But the universe gave us clear signs and my heart led the way. Thank goodness!

A month later we decided that we would one day get married. Right around that time, I flipped through my journal from the spring and came across my epic list. I read over each qualification and was completely blown away.

My new partner matched every single one!

When I was writing out this list months before, I wouldn’t have imagined that he was the one, but there it was, plain as day on the pages. I had manifested my match and found true love.

Sounds too magical to believe? Who knows? The world is a magical place.

Last night when I remembered this story, I was filled with a sense of wonder and deep gratitude.

I read my monthly horoscope and saw that today’s new moon was a time for thinking and dreaming about the future.

So, today, inspired by my manifestation miracle, I am writing a new list!

Today I am writing a list about all the wonderful, beautiful, abundant, joyful and successful qualities and experiences that I want to manifest in our new life, careers, community and home in Denver.

The future is bright and I’m feeling shiny and sparkling in it!

Love and Blessings,



21 thoughts on “Manifesting LOVE.

  1. I love Gala Darling and her book and I too have had some great “oh yeah!” experiences when listening to Love & Sequins πŸ™‚ I’m so happy you found everything you were looking for. We have similar situations– the perfect thing seemed to just appear as soon as you stopped looking for it or worrying over it! xoxo

  2. Oh Frances, what a wonderful, inspiring story! You so eloquently described one of my deepest held beliefs, something that I keep re-affirming in my life experiences: how we view the world can change our lives. I have to say I have my own little story of manifesting love (your list-making inspired me) and I fully believe that the world is a mysterious, magical place. We NEED magic in our lives! I couldn’t be happier for you, and I hope you manifest everything you deserve in your new home and life.

    • Thanks Ash.
      I think I remember having a conversation with you about “the list” when we in Manzanita years ago….glad to see it worked for you too! My dear friend, you definitely deserve immense love because you embody great love and friendship! Can’t wait to meet “the photographer”.
      Yay Magic!!!

    • Hey Waylon.
      Honored to have you stop by my little blog. I would definitely consider editing it up a bit for elephant journal. That would be fun.
      It’s a bit long so I can shorten it a bit for the ej audience. If you have any other editing suggestions I would be happy to hear them and then I will send it to Kate or whomever.

  3. WOW, thanks for a great post on how all of us out there who have toxic thinking can change our lives to become more positive like YOU.

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