This Is Why I Practice Yoga.

spacefrances

Often times when people find out that I have a serious daily yoga and meditation practice, they say things like, “Wow – you’re so good!”, “That’s impressive – that’s a lot of exercise!”, “You have so much discipline, I could never do that.”

Those are nice sentiments and all, so I politely respond with some words of thanks mingled with a touch of self-deprecation (can’t help myself).

But I don’t practice yoga because I am good or disciplined. I don’t practice because I am righteous or virtuous. I certainly don’t practice because I am perfect or peaceful. Nor do I practice to impress you or to prove some inane point about my wonderful brilliant sparkly shininess.

I practice because without practice I am a mess.

I practice because it helps me see myself more clearly and it gives me the push I need to try harder and to love more.

I practice because it makes me feel incredibly strong and pathetically weak – both of which I am.

My practice shows me how powerful I am, and how completely powerless I am in the grand scheme of things.

I practice because, if I dont, I’m even more reactive and distracted. Because I can be cruel and mean, Scorpio-stinging vicious actually, and that’s not cool. I don’t want to be like that – and so I practice.

I practice because I love the challenge and I love the grace.

I practice because I never want to stop learning or stop growing.

I practice because it helps me learn when to strive and when to surrender.

I practice because it puts things in perspective – it gives me a sense of humor and a sense of gravity.

I practice because I don’t want to sleep-walk through my life without a real authentic relationship with myself and my soul.

I practice because it keeps me sober, it keeps me real, it keeps me honest – brutally so.

I practice because it shows me just how far I have to go and it gives me the tools to keep going with faith and perseverance.

I practice because I need to. No one’s going to do it for me, no one can “fix” me or heal me except for myself and so I practice…every day.

My practice is a choice.

But it’s not a pretty one.

It’s simply sink or swim,

And I’m too stubborn to drown.

 

            ♥ 

Om Tat Sat.

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Lila’s Holiday.

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Hello dear friends and readers.

As this wonderful, exciting and challenging year is quickly drawing to a close, I want to extend my gratitude to each and every one of you for reading my blog, offering your commentary and supporting this little project of mine. I am honored that amongst the myriad of options for entertainment and information on the vast interweb you have chosen to frequent my humble offering. Thank you.

My life and personal yoga practice are in a state of transition. Growth, transformation and self-discovery are all occurring, but in ways that I am not yet able to articulate to the public. I’m still trying to get a grasp on it all personally.

Honestly, I’m just really darn tired right now. Tired from the biggest project of my life (planning and pulling off my dreamy but very DIY wedding), packing and moving across the country, soul-searching about what I want to do when I “grow up” and tired from making a new home with my husband without professional help (OMG my forearms are in lactic acid shock from lifting and moving so many cardboard boxes and pieces of furniture in the past 2 weeks).

I’m tired creatively too. I’ve been pouring all my creative energy into decorating and arranging my new house, making Christmas presents and even just cooking that I have little left to invest in Lila.

I have a list a mile long of intended posts to write, but whenever I sit down to give it a go, I lack the focus and inspiration to finish them properly. Somehow Pinterest/Facebook/HuffPo/NYTimes/Refinery29/Anthropologie/numerous wedding blogs win the fight for my scattered attention (ok – I’m embarrassed now that I just shared that with you…oh well…).

So….I’m taking a little break. My mother is in town. We are heading up to the mountains to ski and I am going to give myself a break from blogging and a respite from the guilt I self-impose when I fail to post anything.

For the next few weeks, I will focus on taking really good care of myself, reading fun and inspiring books, journaling, meditating, skiing, cooking, snuggling, sleeping, doing jigsaw puzzles, practicing yoga, dreaming and brainstorming about the future and most importantly, sharing positive and meaningful time with the people that I love the most in all the world – my husband, mother and siblings.

I hope to return from this break with a refreshed vision about what I want to do here on the pages on Lila and how I want to grow and expand as person in my life and career. I’m excited to share this with you in 2013.

I thank you in advance for your patience and support.

May your holiday be relaxing, inspiring and filled with love, joy and peace.

Blessings.

Merry Merry!

❤ Frances ❤

 

 

(image is the magnetic poetry on my new fridge…one expression of my unfocused creativity that occurred in a distracted state a few days ago while trying to organize my new closet! hehe.)